I am Fezboy!
Given free reign makes me smiley and joyful. For now at least, I think we should get to know one another. You can email me at Fezboy so I get to know you, and you can just read along like all the others to get to know me.
Pardon the drab and dingy room we are in right now. Things should begin to look better as I spruce up a bit. I just wanted to let you know about my weekend and could not wait long enough to write a whole style sheet. Besides, it’s getting late, and I must go beddie-by for tomorrow is work then school.
So, this last weekend was spent in Chicago. I rather enjoy Chicago as it is such a pleasant change from Neckville, Indiana, which is where I currently reside. We have sublet our previous home in Chicago to a friend and so we do get to scratch that urban itch every month or so. Hooray!
Things got off to an inauspicious start as the drive up after work was a non-event once you got past the fog around West Lafayette. We made it to Veggie Fun Foods Supreme in about three and a half hours (bonus considering the fog) and I revelled in an avocado/soy cheese sub with peach cobbler to top things off.
Damnit! I keep getting sidetracked. The important things about this weekend was that every public restroom I utilized featured a freaking nutball who was quite pleased with himself and his public display of oddity. The first, and probably strangest, occured at the new Borders down in the Loop. I go in to the second floor can and there are only two stalls. One stall is locked up and there is a pair of feet visible under the door. The feet appear to be dancing, but more on that in a sec. The other stall looks like someone’s den. There are books and periodicals spread out around the pot, a half-eaten container of chocolate chip cookies from Jewel sits on the tp dispenser, assorted plastic bags are stacked against the wall, and there is an assortment of opened and unopened beer cans (Natural Light) thoughtfully spread about the stall.
Yours truly really has some serious G-I issues due to an excessive caffeine intake and there isn’t a whole lot of time to assess all of the visual stimuli. Without a lot of deliberation, I ducked into the _unoccupied_ stall to drop the kids off at the pool. I slam home the bolt and get seated and begin to go about my business. It is at this point that I have time to process the audio stimuli. What I hear can best be described as Gollum discussing his Precious. No real distinct words, but there was a certain hissing quality to his vocalizations. Then I noticed the metronomic quality of a certain fleshy slapping noise. Then I recall the odd, um, dance the gentleman’s feet were doing. Then the realization hits – this guy is slapping his monkey.
Well, of course he finishes his ‘task’ before I finish mine, so now he’s a bit concerned about who should be sitting in his living room. Now he’s pacing the length of the bathroom and every time he comes to my door, he puts his eye right up to the space between the door and the wall and watches me for a bit before taking another lap. He is also discussing with himself the possibility of me pilfering his supplies and the various ways he will pay me back for any missing goods. I make my escape while there are other folks in the restroom, just in case the guy snaps. Well, it turns out that the guy has resettled in the stall next door for another round of skinning the eel, so I when I walk out of the stall, this new guy looks at the arrangement and doesn’t have the accompanying history. So now this guy thinks that I’ve left my beer, cookies, and reading materials strewn about the stall. However, I don’t really look like the homeless type, so he’s debating whether or not to point out that I left my stuff in the stall. So here I am, washing my hands, there’s a new bout of moaning going on in the occupied stall, and there’s this guy trying to piss and figure out if I’m someone he should be frightened of. Well, I didn’t say anything and just left. Let the poor bastard think I’m a freak.
Well, it is getting late. I’ve got two more to share, but they’ll just have to wait until tomorrow. Besides, I’d hate to run out of material so soon.
ta-ta!